Neurodivergent friendly events

by Anisa Ljanta from Wild of Brain

Us, neurodivergent people might need to ask questions to an event organiser to gauge suitability for ourselves. Especially if low on spoons, feeling wobbly, or are in the first years post-diagnosis or acknowledging neurodivergence. Attending with another neurodivergent person for solidarity and support can be a helpful thing. Asking others in neurodivergent communities for recommendations or stories of other’s experiences is always gold. Community wisdom is the best.

Questions to ask before signing up to an event

Here are some examples of questions.  If you’re an organiser of events, you can keep these things in mind for the future.

Practical aspects:

• Are there breaks factored into the programme?

• Will there be content materials in a handbook or notes for participants?

• What is the lighting like? Good natural light? Are there curtains or blinds? Any fluorescents? 

• Is the venue near a busy road, railway, or have other external noise audible from the workshop space?

• Is the venue wheelchair accessible? 

• Is there parking onsite? If not, where is closest / recommended?

• Will there be visual aids as well as people talking through material?

• If the event is online, will captions be available? Will sessions be recorded? Will the chat be monitored for input into the session?

Content aspects:

• Was this course designed with neurodivergent folks part of the design team or was there an external ND review of the content? Or was there engagement and testing of materials with ND folks? This is especially important if the event has a target audience of ND folks.

• Are you aware that traditional practices like silent-sitting-still sorts of meditation, mindfulness exercises or certain coaching methods might not work for ND folks?

• Has the facilitator or co-facilitators worked with ADHD/ Autistic / otherwise neurodivergent clients/participants before? And are you familiar with the different ways neurodivergence might present in your practice/workshop? 

• Would I be able to speak with another autistic/ADHD/neurodivergent person who has done the course/training?

Ask your questions even of trusted organisations with unknown facilitators or new programmes and workshops. Your time and spoons are precious and you never know the backstory on who is designing and facilitating emerging events and initiatives. Anyone neuro-informed and affirming will understand and welcome the need to ask and will be able to respond in a way you’ll feel comfortable with. 

What you might like facilitators to know / ask for

• Would you be able to check in with the group about lighting before starting? 

• Is it possible to ask participants not to wear synthetic or strong fragrance?

• I’m still paying attention even if I am not meeting your eyes.

• Freedom to work independently rather than enforced team or group work.

• I might need to step out of the session for a sensory break. Or have my video off if it’s online.

• I need to be able to move my body to focus so may use stim toys, use a swiss ball to sit on, walk or gently stretch quietly at the back of the room while listening.

Here’s an email template for you to cut and paste and customise

                                            —-------Start of email template—------

Hi XXXX,

I was excited to see your workshop “XXXXXXX” in my insta feed today. My colleague and I would love to attend but have a few questions to gauge whether your workshop is appropriate for us before we register and pay. 

In confidence I’ll share that I’m autistic ADHD and my colleague is autistic and uses a range of mobility aids. (You don’t need to disclose neurospiciness or disability unless you feel comfortable doing so. It's perfectly fine to just ask for the accommodations you need without disclosing.)

Add your questions here. Examples might be:

Is the venue near a busy road, railway, or have other external noise audible from the workshop space?

Is the venue wheelchair accessible and is there disability parking onsite?

Would you be able to check in with the group about dimming the lighting a bit before starting? 

Would it be possible to ask participants not to wear synthetic or strong fragrance?

If you’re new to learning about neurodivergence I can recommend the following links, resources and educators as a way to learn more. Experts estimate up to 24% of the human population sit under the neurodivergent umbrella so it just makes sense to tool up if you’re working with humans!

List your links. Or compile a resource sheet to attach or create a canned email.

Thanks so much for your time,

I look forward to hearing your responses and really hope we get to meet you on the xxth!

xxxxxxx-your name here

                                            —----End of email template—------

Holders of space and organisers of events need to be honest about their knowledge and limitations. True inclusion can be complex and it might not be possible to cater to all needs right away. Organisers can establish audience and accessibility in their planning phase and be clear in marketing from the outset.

If it’s not feeling comfortable to attend to your event/training/workshop don’t give up! Suggest the event organiser or facilitator work with a neurodivergent specialist consultant or organisation to have future iterations more inclusive. Ask around in neurodivergent communities to recommend similar events or enquire whether a trusted ND-organisation could run one. Or support someone with the appropriate background and experience to run a ND-friendly event designed specifically for the wild of brain. If you’re interested, there are bound to be others out there who are keen too.

Useful links:

• Hosting an Inclusive Event for Autistic Participants

• Neurodiversity-Friendly Event Guide

List of Stimming

VISUAL STIMMING

• Watching the sun filter through a window

• Aligning objects

• Finding patterns on tiles

• Sorting objects by colours/shapes

• Focusing and blurring the gaze

• Stare at one spot and blur the rest

• Using glow sticks/other toys

• Visual sensory toys

• Looking at a painting

• Watching dust motes in the light

• Blinking rapidly

• Looking at shiny things

• Watching satisfying videos

• Staring at lights or fans

• Moving objects in front of the eyes

• Looking at things from the "corner of the eye"

• Turning lights on and off

• Watching the rain fall/watching a thunderstorm

TACTILE STIMMING

• Hugging something or someone

• Petting an animal

• Touching an object to feel its texture

• Touching objects in passing

• Touching hair

• Touching fingertips

• Touching the corners of the lips

• Stroking lips with fingertips or tapping

• Touching lips, biting lips or running tongue over lips

• Touching a sensory toy

• Scratching your head or any other part of your body

• Clenching and unclenching fists

• Squeezing the button on pens

• Playing with jewellery

• Wrapping/twisting fingers around fabric, t-shirt straps or other

• Bumping wrists

• Pinching the tip of the nose, eyebrows, etc.

• Bumping teeth together repeatedly

• Rubbing hands against clothing or others

• Squeezing your hands/fists

• Rubbing the palms of your hands/fingers

• Playing with twisting a rubber band

• Playing with your fingers/hands

• Splashing hands in cold water

• Running your hand over your forehead

• Wiping your hand over your eye

• Rolling objects between hands

• Braiding hair

• Pretending to play an instrument

• Spelling with sign language

• Breaking leaves or pieces of tree bark while walking

• Breaking into many pieces and/or folding sugar envelopes

• Pulling out body hair

OLFACTORY STIMMING

• Smell something repeatedly

• Smelling new

• Smelling your pets

• Smelling your loved ones

• Smelling essential oils/candles

• Using diffusers/incense

• Smelling the clothes you've washed

• Using bath bombs

• Smelling food

TASTE STIMMING

• Wearing chewelry

• Eating something for the feel of its texture

• Sucking on the sleeves of t-shirts

• Repeatedly eating/sucking/slurping on something

• Eating something to taste it

• Eating spicy/sour/etc. food for the sensation it gives you

• Eating raw pasta

• Eating play dough/wax/paper or other inedible things

• Thumb sucking/hair

• Throat clearing/coughing repeatedly

• Running tongue over teeth

• Grinding teeth

• Eating very slowly

• Eating candy, lollipops, chewing gum

• Nail biting

• Eating the skin of fingers, lips, etc.

• Biting the inside of my cheeks and sucking the blood

AUDITORY/VERBAL STIMMING

• Hearing/singing the same song/songs on loop

• Listening to a specific part of a song on loop

• Listening to the sound of rain

• Repeating phrases from movies/series/ mantras/catch phrases

• Repeating words

• Listen to any repetitive sound

• Grunting

• Yelling

• Whispering/mumbling

• Whistling/humming

• Putting my ear close to the speakers

• Turning on a household appliance to listen to it

• Listening to music (at a very high volume) with headphones

• Snapping my fingers

• Count out loud

• Clicking your tongue

• Recite something from memory

• Drumming

• Listening to the sound of a seashell

• Listening to nature sounds

• Beatboxing/rapping

• Making beats with my fingernails on a surface

• Pretending to tickle the other person but with "tiki tiki tiki tiki" sounds

PROPRIOCEPTIVE/VESTIBULAR STIMMING

• Jumping

• Jumping rope

• Use a balance board

• Shake my head sideways

• Twisting and turning

• Dancing

• Walking up and down the aisle

• Flapping/flapping

• Moving feet, hands, etc.

• Walking on tiptoe, standing on the side of one foot or heel

• Swinging

• Contract and relax some muscle

• Rocking back and forth

• Shrugging shoulders

• Using a weighted blanket

• Opening and closing doors

• Hanging from places

• Laying face down on something

• Hitting your head

• Running

• Spinning around in a chair with wheels

• Swinging on a pendulum

• Shake your head to a rhythm

OTHER STIMMING/COMBINED

• Doodling

• Looking for patterns on tiles or any other object

• Reading license plates and the like

• Memorizing things

• Playing an instrument

• Keyboarding

• Painting

• Assemble something with legos

• Using a stimming toy

• Lying on the floor/cold surface

• Mentally counting/mentally repeating things

• Crafts that require repetition/patterns

• Collecting objects and sorting them, classifying them, observing them...

• Hatha yoga or any sport that requires repetition

• Folding my ears in on themselves

• Do stretching

• Doing puzzles/jigsaw puzzles/rubik's cube

• Read the same book/books over and over

• Shuffle cards, coins, etc.

• Popping bubble wrap

• Doing sudoku, looking for patterns

Females with Autism: An Unofficial List

By Samantha Craft

Section A: Deep Thinkers

1. A deep thinker

2. A prolific writer drawn to poetry

3. *Highly intelligent

4. Sees things at multiple levels, including her own thinking processes

5. Analyzes existence, the meaning of life, and everything, continually

6. Serious and matter-of-fact in nature

7. Doesn’t take things for granted

8. Doesn’t simplify

9. Everything is complex

10. Often gets lost in own thoughts and “checks out” (blank stare)

Section B: Innocent

1. Naïve

2. Honest

3. Experiences trouble with lying

4. Finds it difficult to understand manipulation and disloyalty

5. Finds it difficult to understand vindictive behaviour and retaliation

6. Easily fooled and conned

7. Feelings of confusion and being overwhelmed

8. Feelings of being misplaced and/or from another planet

9. Feelings of isolation

10. Abused or taken advantage of as a child but didn’t think to tell anyone

Section C: Escape and Friendship

1. Survives overwhelming emotions and senses by escaping in thought or action

2. Escapes regularly through fixations, obsessions, and over-interest in subjects

3. Escapes routinely through imagination, fantasy, and daydreaming

4. Escapes through mental processing

5. Escapes through the rhythm of words

6. Philosophizes, continually

7. Had imaginary friends in youth

8. Imitates people on television or in movies

9. Treated friends as “pawns” in youth; e.g., friends were “students” “consumers” “members”

10. Makes friends with older or younger females more so than friends her age (often in young adulthood)

11. Imitates friends or peers in style, dress, attitude, interests, and manner (sometimes speech)

12. Obsessively collects and organizes objects

13. Mastered imitation

14. Escapes by playing the same music over and over

15. Escapes through a relationship (imagined or real)

16. Numbers bring ease (could be numbers associated with patterns, calculations, lists, time and/or personification)

17. Escapes through counting, categorizing, organizing, rearranging

18. Escapes into other rooms at parties

19. Cannot relax or rest without many thoughts

20. Everything has a purpose

Section D: Comorbid Attributes

1. OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder)

2. Sensory Issues (sight, sound, texture, smells, taste) (might have Synthesia)

3. Generalized Anxiety

4. Sense of pending danger or doom

5. Feelings of polar extremes (depressed/over-joyed; inconsiderate/over-sensitive)

6. Poor muscle tone, double-jointed, and/or lack of coordination (may have Ehlers Danlos Syndrome and/or Hypotonia and/or POTS syndrome)

7. Eating disorders, food obsessions, and/or worry about what is eaten

8. Irritable bowel and/or intestinal issues

9. Chronic fatigue and/or immune challenges

10. Misdiagnosed or diagnosed with a mental illness

11. Experiences multiple physical symptoms, perhaps labelled “hypochondriac”

12. Questions place in the world

13. Often drops small objects

14. Wonders who she is and what is expected of her

15. Searches for right and wrong

16. Since puberty has had bouts of depression (may have PMDD)

17. Flicks/rubs fingernails, picks scalp/skin, flaps hands, rubs hands together, tucks hands under or between legs, keeps closed fists, paces in circles, and/or clears throat often

Section E: Social Interaction

1. Friends have ended friendship suddenly (without female with AS understanding why) and/or difficult time making friends

2. Tendency to overshare

3. Spills intimate details to strangers

4. Raised hand too much in class or didn’t participate in class

5. Little impulse control when speaking when younger

6. Monopolizes conversation at times

7. Brings subject back to self

8. Comes across at times as narcissistic and controlling (is not narcissistic)

9. Shares in order to reach out

10. Often sounds eager and over-zealous or apathetic and disinterested

11. Holds a lot of thoughts, ideas, and feelings inside

12. Feels as if she is attempting to communicate “correctly”

13. Obsesses about the potentiality of a relationship with someone, particularly a love interest or feasible new friendship

14. Confused by the rules of accurate eye contact, tone of voice, proximity of body, body stance, and posture in conversation

15. Conversations are often exhausting

16. Questions the actions and behaviours of self and others, continually

17. Feels as if missing a conversation “gene” or thought-filter

18. Trained self in social interactions through readings and studying other people

19. Visualizes and practices how she will act around others

20. Practices/rehearses in mind what she will say to another before entering the room

21. Difficulty filtering out background noise when talking to others

22. Has a continuous dialogue in mind that tells her what to say and how to act when in a social situation

23. Sense of humor sometimes seems quirky, odd, inappropriate, or different from others

24. As a child it was hard to know when it was her turn to talk

25. Finds norms of conversation confusing

26. Finds unwritten and unspoken rules difficult to grasp, remember, and apply

Section F: Finds Refuge When Alone

1. Feels extreme relief when she doesn’t have to go anywhere, talk to anyone, answer calls, or leave the house but at the same time will often harbour guilt for “hibernating” and not doing “what everyone else is doing”

2. One visitor at the home may be perceived as a threat (this can even be a familiar family member)

3. Knowing logically a house visitor is not a threat, but that doesn’t relieve the anxiety

4. Feelings of dread about upcoming events and appointments on the calendar

5. Knowing she has to leave the house causes anxiety from the moment she wakes up

6. All the steps involved in leaving the house are overwhelming and exhausting to think about

7. She prepares herself mentally for outings, excursions, meetings, and appointments, often days before a scheduled event

8. OCD tendencies when it comes to concepts of time, being on time, tracking time, recording time, and managing time (could be carried over to money, as well)

9. Questions next steps and movements, continually

10. Sometimes feels as if she is on stage being watched and/or a sense of always having to act out the “right” steps, even when she is home alone

11. Telling self the “right” words and/or positive self-talk (CBT) doesn’t typically alleviate anxiety. CBT may cause increased feelings of inadequacy.

12. Knowing she is staying home all day brings great peace of mind

13. Requires a large amount of downtime or alone time

14. Feels guilty after spending a lot of time on a special interest

15. Uncomfortable in public locker rooms, bathrooms, and/or dressing rooms

16. Dislikes being in a crowded mall, crowded gym, and/or crowded theatre

Section G: Sensitive

1. Sensitive to sounds, textures, temperature, and/or smells when trying to sleep

2. Adjusts bedclothes, bedding, and/or environment in an attempt to find comfort

3. Dreams are anxiety-ridden, vivid, complex, and/or precognitive in nature

4. Highly intuitive to others’ feelings

5. Highly empathetic, sometimes to the point of confusion

6. Takes criticism to heart

7. Longs to be seen, heard, and understood

8. Questions if she is a “normal” person

9. Highly susceptible to outsiders’ viewpoints and opinions

10. At times adapts her view of life or actions based on others’ opinions or words

11. Recognizes own limitations in many areas daily, if not hourly

12. Becomes hurt when others question or doubt her work

13. Views many things as an extension of self

14. Fears others opinions, criticism, and judgment

15. Dislikes words and events that hurt animals and people

16. Collects or rescues animals (often in childhood)

17. Huge compassion for suffering (sometimes for inanimate objects/personification)

18. Sensitive to substances (environmental toxins, foods, alcohol, medication, hormones, etc.)

19. Tries to help, offers unsolicited advice, or formalizes plans of action

20. Questions life purpose and how to be a “better” person

21. Seeks to understand abilities, skills, and/or gifts

Section H: Sense of Self

1. Feels trapped between wanting to be herself and wanting to fit in

2. Imitates others without realizing it

3. Suppresses true wishes (often in young adulthood)

4. Exhibits codependent behaviours (often in young adulthood)

5. Adapts self in order to avoid ridicule

6. Rejects social norms and/or questions social norms

7. Feelings of extreme isolation

8. Feeling good about self takes a lot of effort and work

9. Switches preferences based on environment and other people

10. Switches behaviour based on environment and other people

11. Didn’t care about her hygiene, clothes, and appearance before teenage years and/or before someone else pointed these out to her

12. “Freaks out” but doesn’t know why until later

13. Young sounding voice

14. Trouble recognizing what she looks like and/or has occurrences of slight prosopagnosia (difficulty recognizing or remembering faces)

15. Feels significantly younger on the inside than on the outside (perpetually twelve)

Section I: Confusion

1. Had a hard time learning that others are not always honest

2. Feelings seem confusing, illogical, and unpredictable (self’s and others’)

3. Confuses appointment times, numbers, and/or dates

4. Expects that by acting a certain way certain results can be achieved, but realizes in dealing with emotions, those results don’t always manifest

5. Spoke frankly and literally in youth

6. Jokes go over the head

7. Confused when others ostracize, shun, belittle, trick, and betray

8. Trouble identifying feelings unless they are extreme

9. Trouble with emotions of hate and dislike

10. Feels sorry for someone who has persecuted or hurt her

11. Personal feelings of anger, outrage, deep love, fear, giddiness, and anticipation seem to be easier to identify than emotions of joy, satisfaction, calmness, and serenity

12. Difficulty recognizing how extreme emotions (outrage, deep love) will affect her and challenges transferring what has been learned about emotions from one situation to the next

13. Situations and conversations sometimes perceived as black or white

14. The middle spectrum of outcomes, events, and emotions is sometimes overlooked or misunderstood (all or nothing mentality)

15. A small fight might signal the end of a relationship or collapse of world

16. A small compliment might boost her into a state of bliss

Section J: Words, Numbers, and Patterns

1. Likes to know word origins and/or origin of historical facts/root cause and foundation

2. Confused when there is more than one meaning (or spelling) to a word

3. High interest in songs and song lyrics

4. Notices patterns frequently

5. Remembers things in visual pictures

6. Remembers exact details about someone’s life

7. Has a remarkable memory for certain details

8. Writes or creates to relieve anxiety

9. Has certain “feelings” or emotions towards words and/or numbers

10. Words and/or numbers bring a sense of comfort and peace, akin to a friendship

(Optional) Executive Functioning & Motor Skills  This area isn’t always as evident as other areas

1. Simple tasks can cause extreme hardship

2. Learning to drive a car or rounding the corner in a hallway can be troublesome

3. New places offer their own set of challenges

4. Anything that requires a reasonable amount of steps, dexterity, or know-how can rouse a sense of panic

5. The thought of repairing, fixing, or locating something can cause anxiety

6. Mundane tasks are avoided

7. Cleaning self and home may seem insurmountable

8. Many questions come to mind when setting about to do a task

9. Might leave the house with mismatched socks, shirt buttoned incorrectly, and/or have dyslexia and/or dysgraphia

10. A trip to the grocery store can be overwhelming

11. Trouble copying dance steps, aerobic moves, or directions in a sports gym class

12. Has a hard time finding certain objects in the house but remembers with exact clarity where other objects are; not being able to locate something or thinking about locating something can cause feelings of intense anxiety