The first time I picked up gardening, I did it out of pure indulgence. I was after beauty. I wanted blooms and colour. I wanted a flower garden. It was a lot of work but gal, did I enjoy it. I became so attached to my flowers that when we had to leave our rental, I quit gardening for the next three years. I was heartbroken.

But a couple of months ago, the itch to dig my hands in the soil returned–along with memories of my grandad. El Tito was a keen gardener and herbalist. Most days you’d find him working away in the back garden, sometimes blasting music from a speaker he’d shifted to the windowsill, sometimes sitting quietly in his chair, stroking the back of his favourite chicken who often roosted on his lap. He was neat, El Tito, with his plants, his trees, his animals and his magical brews and remedies.

Grandma and grandad kissing in the garden, 1973.

No wonder I’ve become obsessed with growing my own witch garden, a patch of kitchen herbs and medicinal plants. Of course! He planted the seed in me all those years back.

It was this witch garden that led me to start dreaming of a mumutawa (Māori for ladybug) haven. One day, my dill and lemon verbena were suddenly crawling with aphids. I didn’t want to spray them—those plants are for teas and cooking—so I spread a cloth at the base and brushed the bugs off with a soft paintbrush, leaf by leaf, branch by branch. It was ridiculously time-consuming. I love my plants, but I can’t afford to be that fastidious; I’ve got other interests to tend to as well.

Searching for natural solutions brought me to mumutawa, they love to eat aphids. Gosh, bugs are awesome. They’re pest controllers, decomposers, pollinators, we really need our bugs! But climate change, use of chemicals, destroyed ecosystems, pollution and invasive species have been our anti-gift to them and their populations are rapidly declining. That was the biggest lesson to me. Understanding that to keep a healthy balance in the garden I had to make friends with aphids and weeds. Damn.

So now I have a new project: building a mumutawa haven. The plan: growing lemon verbena, dill and marigolds to attract aphids–the ladybugs’ favourite meal. Next to those plants I’ll have mint and thyme for ground cover to hide from bigger predators. Then, water supply. A terracotta saucer with some stones, sticks and water for them to stand on and have a drink. And finally, a mumutawa hotel–a shelter made out of straws for the overwintering period (hibernation for bugs), so they never have to leave the garden.

Gardening is amazing. It isn’t just about plants—it’s about relationships. Between you and the soil, between bugs and plants and all the invisible work happening behind the scenes. Between one generation and the next, between humans and nature. We all carry seeds of appreciation that our tīpuna (ancestors) buried inside us. They lie dormant for years, waiting for the right season to sprout and bloom.

I think I’m ready to fall in love with gardening again.